All of my friends live near each other.
✿ posted 2 days ago - 85,774 notes - reblog ✿
For them, it’s like,
“Hey bro, wanna come over?”
“Aight bro, lemme just cross the street.”
For me, it’s like,
“Hey bro, wanna come over?”
“Aight bro, lemme just cross the bridge to Terabithia, take the shortcut through Narnia, take the detour around District 12, and stop by Hogwarts to get groceries.”
- math test: a farmer plants 7 crops of tomatoes and 3 crops of carrots what is the probablity his moms name is leslie
- history test: the american civil war ended in 1865, explain how this had a defining role in the extinction of dinosaurs
- literature test: explain what the author meant by, "the apple was as red as an apple"
- physics tests: The aliens ate 3.4 doughnuts. Their crumbs fell to the Earth because of gravity. Calculate how many penguins are eating pancakes at the speed of light.
- other girls with no make up: oh sorry i just woke up.
- guys: wow you're still beautiful
- me without make up: oh sorry i just woke up
- guys: is that shrek
When I get an A on my test my mom is like:
✿ posted 4 days ago - 61,174 notes - reblog ✿
But when i fail a test:
How do you expect me to do a homework assignment that requires a computer?
Do you know what happens when I get near a computer?
- author: she didn't want to eat dinner because she doesn't like chicken noodle soup
- english teacher: even though it doesn't say it, we can infer that 17 years ago she encountered an attack from chickens while on a trip to africa visiting her great aunt who was dying from pneumonia which she got from chickens that were being harvested for the great feast
- me: i'll do it at 7PM
- time: 7:02PM
- me: oops too late gotta wait till 8 now
